God is so Powerful

So I said in my last blog that I was going to talk about all the things that have led to my decision to stay here in New Orleans and I didn’t because I got to tired- so this blog is going to be devoted to that.

Since Day One of being here in New Orleans, I have known and felt that this is exactly where God wants me. I was talking to a wonderful person and she told me this and it has really stuck and it perfectly describes my first day here at the Baptist Friendship House. She said, (and I’m paraphrasing so I won’t use direct quotations), Satan can mess with our minds and get in our minds and throw things at us on the outside; but if Jesus is in our heart then Satan can’t get in there. That totally describes how I felt my first day. As soon as I stepped in the doors of the BFH, I felt as if God was opening his arms saying “Welcome Home.” And that feeling has not left me for one second since I have been here. This is the first place in my life that has ever felt like home other than Kenansville Baptist and even there, it wasn’t the same feeling as I have here. I’m looking back in my journal and in my first entry I talked about how perfect and right this feels and I knew that it was part of God’s plan for me. From that very first day he has just sent so many affirmations that he has huge plans for me here and that I shouldn’t leave yet.

I have now realized that God has been preparing me for a transition like this for a while now. I first felt the call to missions around a year ago while serving in Honduras; however, I knew it wasn’t for foreign missions, God wanted me in my home country. It wasn’t until I was waitlisted for a position at Centri-Kid that I realized that my dream of fulfilling my call to missions could actually take place after learning about opportunities with NAMB. I immediately knew this was in God’s plan for my summer. There were so many options to choose from out of at least 100, I chose two mission locations in Oklahoma and my third choice was here in New Orleans. I honestly did not think I would end up in New Orleans, I was told that they were usually able to place people at their first choice. Evidently God wanted me here. Once I got here and began thinking about staying here in New Orleans, I was able to look back to my last semester at UNC-Chapel Hill. I tried my best to make myself be happy and enjoy life at UNC, but in my heart it just wasn’t there. I truly believe that is one way God began to prepare me to leave that place, my uneasiness there and lack of wanting to go back there was definitely God.
Since I have been here, God has just continually affirmed that this is definitely where he wants me. The feeling of being exactly where God wants me, like I said, never leaves me- even on the hardest of days- and there have been several…. God still makes me feel like I am here for a purpose and that this is all in his plan. I have made relationships with staff members, summer missionaries, along with my directors that I will never lose, no matter where I am. They push me to be the best Kendall I can be and are such an encouragement. They are so supportive of whatever decision I make, although it has been made for now…. I have made relationships with my girls and I know that God has placed them in my life for a reason and I am in theirs for a reason. After camp, I don’t want to lose contact with them and walk out on them, I want to continue our relationship and hopefully be some kind of mentor to them. I have met a lady who is a prostitute, (the one that I cleaned her feet and polished her nails that I mentioned in an earlier post), and I just feel like God is going to use our relationship for a better good for both me and her. A woman that has not been here in years, came in last week to complete her GED and before she came in, I volunteered to start teaching GED stuff. My directors are so excited and really seem to think that me and her are going to do really well together and hopefully that will be another relationship that betters the both of us.

There have been little things as well that just continue to affirm that I am making the right decision…. On one of my harder days here, I was able to see a double rainbow- and for those of you at KBC, ya’ll know how big we are on rainbows, especially double rainbows. When I go running by the river, I just feel like God is telling me- Kendall this is where you belong, and I absolutely love it. I am going to have the opportunity to write at least one, hopefully two books before too long, which has been a lifelong dream. There is an older man at a coffee shop that I began talking with and I can’t wait to see where God goes with that one, I may never see the man again but God just keeps him on my heart.

So I know some of you all who are reading this have been fairly concerned about schooling for me. I WILL NOT be dropping out of school. I love school and I want to keep learning more. I couldn’t imagine not finishing, in fact I have even began praying about possibly-eventually pursuing a doctoral degree. I have already began looking at colleges in the area and I am super excited to be able to tour them. One of them has a counseling program that I am extremely interested in- I know that is what God wants me to do. That’s been on my heart for a while. So there shall be no worries about me completing school- I know UNC is an amazing school with a prestigious reputation, but that does not matter to me- I want to be filled with joy wherever I am.

Others I know have worried about me rushing into this decision and making it too fast. It honestly doesn’t matter about everything I wrote above this because in the end I can give each person every reason in the book as to why I should stay here and not one of them matters, except that this is where God wants me. I ended my last blog with the quote about how to know when it is God speaking to me. I never in a million years would have thought I would be making this move, NEVER!!! You know, I had it all planned out, finish school at UNC, go to graduate school, get married, have kids, be successful…. And God has completely changed that plan for me. And honestly I don’t know his complete plan, but I don’t feel like that is for me to know. That takes the joy out of living by the word FAITH, because that is certainly what I am doing. I am nineteen years old, moving away from everything I have ever known, and because I have faith, I KNOW in my heart that as long as I am living in God’s will, I have not one single thing to worry about. I have no fear at all about moving down here. I am so content with life- overjoyed with life. And you know, God may only have me serve here for a few months or he could have me here for years, whatever he decides, I WILL go wherever he leads me. I don’t think you can make a wrong decision if you follow what God places on your heart. He has placed it on my heart that New Orleans is the place for me.
My prayer for everyone who reads this is that you can put any questions that you may have aside and just join with me in trusting God and his PLAN for me. I am so thankful for all of you all’s support, but I promise you that I am not making this decision alone, God is right here beside me, comforting me all the way. I pray that you can just support me and God’s will and know that I will be okay. I pray that you can one day feel, if you haven’t already, what God has allowed me to feel. The feeling of being exactly where he wants you. It is so peaceful, even in the hardest situations. HE IS WITH ME.